Confessions of an Introvert, part one…maybe.

We don’t confess.
Part two will be shorter.
Just kidding.
I have written alot about Introverts in my previous posts, but their is always something to be said about our kind. Even if it has been said one hundred times. I just got a chill. I knew something was different anout me, but I couldn’t figure it out. A good friend, studying psychology, talked with me and told me she thought I was an Introvert (always capitilized).
Yes, I can work with people and do customer service. Why? I need a paycheck. When I am off work, no one can find me , because I like being by myself. Im more than a little antisocial. I am not mean though. It is just the way I am. It is the classic Introvert symptom of a crowd draiming my batteries. I need the quiet time to recharge. I have people that I love and enjoy being with. A small group. Look at my photo. It is the picture of a door. The door is closed. I function with the crowd … from a distance. From the fringe, the edge. I won’t move up in my job, because I get to be alone in a truck, sitting in a corner, observing. I don’t have the radio on. I am resting my mind and guess who shows up 75% of the time. My Muse. I practically came up with the core of my ideas, sitting in that corner. It amazes me what ideas that some peace and quiet will bring forth. My greatest writing idea came from that spot.

I am from the South and the Bible belt. I have a hard time attending services due to being an Introvert. The crowds and all the togetherness affect me deeply. I didn’t check my usage of “affect/effect” .  I can do the crowd scene but it makes me queasy on the inside. I can go to the theater. You have to be quiet and it is dark.

My Muse was drunk when she thought of that.

I am beginning to add “notes and stuff” to my 19th sketch/notebook. I was browsing through book 8 to 12 today and I came to the conclusion that my beautiful Muse was drinking heavily when she sent some of these ideas to my thoughts. I write my notes dowm so i wont forget them and I usually forget them quickly so its a new revelation when i read them agsin for the first time. The combination of introversion and a superior Muse sends me a cascade of wonderful things. I must admit it was good stuff but I prefer her to be sober. She might send my ideas to someone else.

999 extroverts

You have 1000 people in a meeting hall. Pick out the single Introvert. The Introvert will probably be leaning against the wall watching the extro’s getting drunk on each others company. People are batteries for extro’s. Introverts have built in batteries. We can work alone without crying the blues of loneliness. The Intro will have a tag with no name written on it. We don”t need to have our name known. It’s not important. The best way to find the Intro? Watch the door. We will be the first out of it, of course, without telling anyone. I don’t know how you got one of us at the meeting/party to begin with.

Bad days and a blindfolded Muse

I’m sittin’ here shaking. Everyone else is resting. They are actually able too rest. Maybe vibrating is a better word. Its like a volcano of words and ideas and thoughts wanting…needing to be out. I have been dealing with personal problems that my Muse doesnt want to see or deal with. The thoughts and snippets keep on rolling out. Its a collision of vision and lifes reality speeding  towards each other. Most people turn off the Muse and deal with the problem. Trouble will rob the desire for fishing  ideas as a consequence. Not me. I dont care what I am facing or dealing with, the ideas are coming. It makes me feel sick. I should not be creating when I am having a break up and moving on.