My Muse fights for me.

 

I’ve started talking in my sleep. Mom says it sounds more like mumbling than talking. I am dealing with alot of personal issues. In the past, I slept like a baby. Matters from the live world enter my sleep kingdom now. My place of escape is being rattled by things I can barely deal with when I am awake. When I sleep I dont rest and when I am working , I want to close my eyes and lay down in a corner. During one of these sleep/awake/sleep moments, I had a vision of my Muse. She was yelling to me but I couldn’t understand her. The next moment her mouth was gagged with a white cloth. She wasn’t able to communicate at all. She has been quiet since then. I know she fights for me. I can  feel it inside.

Confessions of an introvert part 2 or If My Life Was a Puzzle

I began first grade in the fall of 1972. It would be 44 years before I found out what I “am”. That’s a long time suffering in secret. I was a puzzle without a picture to work with. A blank puzzle can’t be put together. Last year,the photo for the puzzle appeared. I have written about it and I dont want to bore you, but a close friend told me she thought I was an Introvert. I studied, thanks to the wonderful web, and it was a flash of light in my life. All the pieces fit together. I am an Introvert and having the pieces to the puzzle brought joy and it also delivered sadness. Back in ’72 there were no books, very little knowledge and no web to search for yourself. If I had known, my life would have been lived differently. If you notice I avoid describing Introvertmess as a sickness or something being “wrong” with me. If you know you have it, you can harness that power and do many wonderful things. I did not know and therefore I didnt explore its full potential. But, now I am “working it” hard. I was born with it and I am dealing with it. It is never too late. I am passed my 50th year and just beginning to live. The clouds have cleared and the puzzle is together. The final puzzle is what will I do from here. I don’t need a picture to decide that. I will create my own. Still, I think back to the 6 year old me. I didn’t know what I would face, but I can look back in memory and see. I pray all young Introverts can find out now. It will be clear to them and they can follow the best path.